It is our practice as a household to say ‘grace’ before meals. This is despite the efforts of a friend of ours who taught our children to chorus ‘grace’ any time we invited the gathered throng to ‘say grace’. They are very literal like that.
The purpose of saying grace is to thank God for his provision, but I have to admit not feeling the same way towards the liquid feeds I now have to have poured down my gastric tube in lieu of proper food.
I find myself thinking about food a lot and not just when I am seated around the dinner table with an empty place setting before me. What is worse, I think about the best version of a particular dish I have eaten or drink that I have consumed and I forget all the indifferent meals I have had over the years: the over-chewy meat, the eggs that weren’t cooked as I like and which made me feel queasy or the wine that really was best kept for cooking.
As an aside, I am reminded of my father-in-law who used to make home made wine. One day he invited me to sample the elderberry wine he was brewing with the warning ‘if you don’t like it, don’t pour it down the sink – it will attack the pipes’. He wasn’t wrong!
But there is more to food than just taste and texture: the context of the meal is also important. As we eat together we cement friendships, we share stories and intimacies, we laugh and we lay down memories. A good meal shared with friends or family is a precious commodity. I don’t think it is a coincidence that many of the most important encounters in Jesus’s life recorded in the gospels, took place around a meal with others.
Yes, the nutrition (and you will note I can’t bring myself to call it food) that I take down my tube is perfectly balanced to provide the carbohydrates, protein and essential minerals etc that my body needs to remain healthy, but it lacks one crucial ingredient: joy, and it is the joy of eating that I realise I miss the most.
So, for those of you who, like us, say grace before a meal, can I urge you to thank God not only for the food (and the person who cooked it), but also for the life it brings to your relationships and the love that it expresses.
Bon appetit one and all xx
Ah – but that very same wine left for about 20 years became delicious if I remember correctly?!
You are probably overstating the improvement but it did mature gracefully.
Thank you for a beautifully written piece. I remember by disappointing encounters with food during chemotherapy when I had no taste. I am glad that you are still enjoying the shared enjoyment that eating together brings even if you can’t eat in the same way.
Ian – I am sorry to read this and your previous posting (which I somehow missed). It is beautifully written and I understand the sense of loss you feel with regard to the enjoyment of food. Still, at least you now have a good reason to decline politely if offered, for example, some gut rot wine.
It is a thought provoking privilege to read your postings these days – I am especially struck and impressed by the way you are able to pepper the sobering subject-matter with wit and stoicism.
With very best wishes – Ian
Thanks Ian. I am a cheap date, catering wise at least, when it comes to cricket 😉
I’m always happy to host you at Lord’s, Ian, whether expensive or cheap on the catering front. Let me know if it remains practicable and if there is a fixture that would please you on a date that works for you and Sally. More suitably a “conversation” for e-mail rather than comments on this piece, fascinating though such machinations might be for your loyal but disinterested (in matters cricket) readership!
Thank you for sharing your journey and God’s love for us all.
Lovely to see you all…and a good reminder and if something we may not even think about….the joy of the food ( and those with us). Many thx for that Ian! Luv ya, Terri
I will definitely be following your advice Ian and thanking God for both the food and the friends / family in my life.
Ps I might also find myself saying “grace” if someone says ‘let’s say grace’ !!
😂 That’s a bad habit to get into. Our kids still do it in their thirties.
I have never dared say ‘Grace’ when people say we’re going to say Grace. I am too scared of the people saying it. I’m sure God is fed up of that joke, and even more so are the people hearing it.
Thanks so much Ian for your latest contribution to my life. How is it for you to write these pieces? They are really appreciated – and also must be huge amounts of work. Thank you for entertaining, informing and making me reflect (like a better version of the BBC).
PS I am still tangentially involved with CFG, as I still enjoy forcing them to do a peer mentoring scheme, which is always threatened with closure due to lack of funding, and also very valued by the participants. It’s great to see CFG people from time to time, though only on zoom, which is the way these days.
Lots of love to you from me, Nicki xxx
Thanks Nicki for your encouragement. To be honest, most of the composing of the blog is done in my head and the actual writing is comparatively quick. I write as much for my own benefit – it provides an outlet for my emotions as it forces me to articulate what is going on in my head. xx
Thank you Ian, we love you so much. Thank you for challenging so much of what we take as our right, and help us to see it as an amazing privilege and gift which we should be truly thankful for.
I would love to hear more of where you get your strength and courage from so you are able to write these things with no hint of bitterness or anger. Yes a great sense of loss and sometimes frustration comes through but that I think just adds power to what you write.
You have had your independence taken away but still we see courage and strength in all you write.
I say again Ian we love you and who you are, so very much.
So many wise words in these comments when sometimes I feel at a loss of what to say.
Thank you for making me stop and reflect on the most important part of any shared meal – the people…
And whether food or a quick pop in for coffee it is always precious when we spend time with you and Sally ❤️
Thanks for sharing your journey xx
Much love
Helen and Jonathan x
Thank you again Ian for another thought provoking post. I’m so glad that you are still able and willing to share your thoughts.