One of my favourite cartoons is by Birkett, which first appeared in Punch magazine. It shows a group of Daleks, stymied by a flight of steps, lamenting its impact on their ambitions. I now know how they feel.
Since returning to the UK from our gap year travels and moving to a new house in the foothills of the Mendips, it has become increasingly apparent that I am suffering from an, as yet undiagnosed, muscle wasting disease. When I say our house is in the foothills of the Mendips, this is no figure of speech; turn right out of our front gate and the road climbs steeply towards the beacon on the top of Black Down, some 1,066 feet above sea level. It is not therefore an ideal house in which to experience a sharp decline in mobility!
This loss of mobility is painfully expressed in my inability to carry the recycling bins up the flight of eight steps to the driveway from where they are collected by the bin lorry each Tuesday morning (on a good day). In one fell-swoop my sole contribution to the day-to-day management of the household has been done away with and instead I have to sub-contract the task to others and content myself with a superfluous supervisory role. Tasks that were predominately my domain even a few months ago are gradually becoming beyond me and with them disappears a sense of self-worth. It is a transition that is not coming easily to me.
Those of you who have read our previous blogs will know that, as we ended our gap year, we carried a sense of real excitement about what new adventures we would embark upon in our new community. As with the Daleks, we are having to re-set our sights – to re-calibrate in our minds precisely what the future might look like. More will unfold in the months ahead as we start to understand the nature of my disability and its likely trajectory. However, as the cartoonist Matt was able to point out – challenges also give rise to creativity. Its just a matter of using your imagination.
I would cook for you everyday if I was closer but you are blessed with an angel of a wife who will for sure take super good care of you.. Standing with you dear brother..
Ian,
I read this with a heavy heart; knowing how excited you were to be moving into your ‘new future’ as you left us in NZ. I am heartened, however, by your ever present wit. Praying for you; for clarity around what your prognosis is and the new trajectory that you had not previously envisaged. Hoping you get to enjoy the amazing views from your house for a good many years, and that the hills can be overcome.
A x
Sooo thankful to hear from you Ian. Thx for keeping us up on your health and know that we are lifting you and Sal in prayer. Gorgeous view in the Mendips. Luv to u all.
It feels a bit strange to like a post which is so painfully poignant. However, I’m glad you are sharing and the dalek cartoons made me smile.
Corrie Ten Boom said “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God”, this only really hits home when you are in the position you are in. So many people will be standing alongside you and walking that path with you so be encouraged.
Don’t beat yourself up, now or in the future, your sense of worth is not in what you can’t do, but in who you are in God and that will never change as you are precious to him as you are to us, bins or no bins! I too have always loved that Dalek cartoon, but it will be sadly lost on our grandchildren’s generation I fear!
Ian – so many thoughts as i read this… we are praying with you all the way. Loving all the truth in previous comments and praying you hold onto truth amidst a season of change…
Ian, we have reflected so much on your post, and left it a few days before responding.
I sent you a text to the last mobile number ending …1654 I had for you. My guess it has changed!
If you would like to meet up at any time, we are only in Bristol and could reach you easily.
You may prefer privacy of course.
You may still have my mobile ending …8704 in which case text me, or send an email.
Leave it with you, whatever you feel suits you best.
In Christ, David
Ian. I’m so sorry to learn this news.
You might be bored by now with all the medical stuff, but if the condition is as yet diagnosed there are many possibilities. Janie has had several clients make near-full recoveries from Guillain–Barré syndrome, for example, which often goes into reverse when coaxed. Also, given your unusual lifestyle in the past couple of years, it is possibly a parasite (e.g. Lyme’s Disease) which can display very similar symptoms to e.g. Motor Neuron Disease, but parasite diseases are largely curable. In any case it is a good idea to get a clear diagnosis asap. Even the degenerative nasties are to some extent controllable and can sometimes be coaxed into remission.
Your boat’s moniker and motto, Living In Hope, seems all the more apposite now. The combination of hope, sound planning and your profound faith will, I’m sure, equip you better than most for the future, whatever that future might bring.
You should still have all of my contact details (unchanged) so do please call or correspond whenever you wish.
With very best wishes to you and your family
Ian