As regular readers will know, this blog is an eclectic mix of travelogue, intimate diary and thought pieces at the heart of which lie insights on important matters. Well, never has this been more true of this current post which addresses the essential question of the correct way to eat peanut M&M’s.
I am not thinking here about whether sucking the chocolate off first rather than crunching them as soon as you put them in your mouth is the superior method, although I do personally hold to that particular doctrine, but rather, I want to address the question of the order in which you should consume them.
But before I go on I need to explain why this is such an important issue.
Remarkably, it has been scientifically proven that peanut M&M’s are one of the few food supplements that have been shown to be beneficial for people suffering with muscular dystrophy! At least I think I am sure I read this unlikely fact in an obscure medical journal, although for the life of me I can’t remember precisely where nor indeed why I might be reading a medical journal in the first place. Sally is somewhat sceptical, as you might expect, but has accepted the theory that if it doesn’t cause you harm then you might as well take it, and has agreed to add these medicinal beauties to our online grocery order.
The journal article didn’t specify the dose you need to take, but I am sure it was for more than one-a-day and so we order them in the big ‘sharing-bag’ size and pour a measure into a bowl, to avoid the temptation to pig out on an entire bag in a single sitting. However the problem comes with that word ‘sharing’. I don’t have any qualms about sharing the bowl with Sally, or with anyone else come to that as long as they are prepared to accept suitable distancing measures, but that does require a shared understanding of how to tackle a collective bowl of M&M’s. And therein lies the dilemma. Sally, you see, is of the opinion that the right way is simply to grab a handful and stuff them in, regardless of their colour and with no regard to the chaos she leaves behind. Can you credit it? There are times when, quite frankly, I can scarcely believe she received a grammar school education.
The right way to eat a bowl of M&M’s is of course to try and retain as many complete sets of six colours as possible by firstly consuming the ‘spares’ until you are left with one, two or, if you are lucky, three complete sets. (If you end up with four or more sets then can I suggest you poured too many into the bowl in the first place and you deserve what’s coming to you).
Then, and this is the clever bit, you eat them, one set at a time, in the sequence you are supposed to sink the coloured balls in snooker namely; yellow, green, brown, blue, pink (well red in this case as they don’t make pink M&M’s) and um .., orange. I know it should be black but you try and find a black M&M: they don’t exist.
And that ladies and gentlemen is all you need to know about the right way to eat M&M’s. It may be that some practice is required before the reader becomes comfortable with the methodology, and indeed it can potentially be adapted to other forms of confectionary (Smarties for instance DO include pink but they don’t have the same therapeutic effect, as far as I am aware).
Whilst on the subject of rather niche interests, can I ask if any of you remember Potato Puffs – a delicate flaky potato ‘crisp’ made by Burtons?
I have fond memories of these delicate beauties which Burtons ceased producing in the early 1990’s. Well, to my delight, I have discovered a Facebook group has been formed to campaign for their re-introduction and it currently boasts around 7,000 members. Can I suggest that this veritable army of ‘puffragettes’, amongst whose ranks I am proud to march, represents British eccentricity at its finest? If you want to find out more follow this link.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/128308940575/?ref=share
Please feel free to join the discussion by clicking on the comment button above.
I’m afraid I’m with Sally! Must be our upbringing (although I can’t actually recall eating M&Ms as a child!). Interesting way to eat them though, Ian…maybe I just need to try it out to see which way I prefer?!
Oh dear this must be a genetic thing… I was in stitches reading this and I so agree with you re the ‘set’ technique. I even follow the same colour order re consumption. But I have to say I am a Smarties person not M&Ms (as M&Ms are some phoney American candy!) so I consume the red and orange first to get them out of the way…..and leave purple for last (substitute black) But if M&Ms have medicinal value then who can argue with that?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange_Is_the_New_Black_(season_6)
You can rationalise your snooker analogy by referring to the above TV programme.
Having never spent even five minutes in a women’s prison I don’t think I can use that as a legitimate rationale 😂
Strange to read about M&Ms and the importance of their colours today, as we learnt today that Eddie Van Halen died yesterday.
Van halen famously had a “no brown M&Ms” rider in the band’s tour contracts, the rationale for which is well explained here: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/brown-out/
Don’t get legal with Sally, Ian. There’d only be one winner if you try that. (The lawyer, with Sally taking second place from you too).
A fun read, Ian, many thanks.
Sounds a bit too reminiscent of the packing the dishwasher debate in our house – or the right way up of playing cards 😳! I’m all for going with the flow, but I’m on my own here!
Hmm, there might be some correlation here
Smarties rule, orange the best taste. Blue were late comers, no admittance.
Hi Ian. Love your blogs and I hope you continue to be as well as possible. I’m afraid I just put a handful in and suck them until the hard shell is soft, crunch the shell carefully and suck the chocolate. I always consume the whole packet which is probably why I am now pre-diabetic and on a low sugar low carb diet !!!! I enjoyed reading your post and could just imagine you eating them which was nice as I’ve had no chocolate for 6 weeks ! Sending you both love and best wishes.
Ian, are you sure that you are not suffering from a wider condition?
I really couldn’t say 😉
Oh dear, what a nest of vipers you have prodded. You see, I favour the orderly colour by colour approach, albeit I don’t have a specific order, and I too dispense with the odd ones first. Sharon on the other hand is firmly in the grab a hand full and stuff them in camp.
However, you fail to mention the sizes of the morsels of deliciousness which do vary considerably from miniscule grains to mutants the size of grapes, the latter being saved until last no matter what their colour.
The concept of not eating the whole bag in one go is totally alien. Like Twiglets and Magnus Magnusson, once started they have to be finished.
Take care old friend.
Richard & Sharon
Ian, on reading your post it strikes me that your method is definitely one that would be favoured by accountants , me included ! Of course we like to see things tackled in an orderly and countable way . Sally, of course , isn’t hindered by that way of thinking . Keep eating them whichever way, I say !
I fear that, as much as I like to pretend otherwise, a deep seated flow of accounting runs through my veins!
Nut counting as opposed to bean counting in fact 😊