The List

There is only one thing more satisfying than a to-do list and that is a to-do list with some of the tasks already crossed off. It is a deception of course, but one that plays into our need to be in control of our lives.  A to-do list shows that you have scoped out everything that needs to be changed (you are in charge) and a to-do list with items crossed-off shows that you have momentum too.  ‘Not only do I know what needs to be done, I have started to change the world I live in, for the better’.

The nature of my to-do lists has changed over my life.  I always had an extensive one at work of course, and this was a vital tool to make sure I was paying sufficient attention to the ‘elephants’ that were still some way off, but that would cause me great damage if I hadn’t dealt with them before deadline day.  For someone whose life motto is ‘never do today what you can put off doing until tomorrow’ that discipline of keeping an eye open for the elephants has been really important.  Without the long-range to-do list the danger is you get overwhelmed trying to address the ‘mice’ – the small and immediate tasks that everyone is clamouring for you to do, but which are not really significant in the great scheme of things.

However it was in my domestic life where the to-do list had its most potent effect, not least because it was my wife who usually populated the list with a variety of DIY and other must-do items.  I am getting my retaliation in now as my deteriorating physical condition means that tasks that would have sat squarely on my shoulders – mow the lawn, oil the gates, fix the leak in the bathroom etc. have magically found their way onto her to-do list.  It gives me no pleasure to say that Sally’s list is now much longer than mine as not only has she got her own priorities to manage, she has inherited mine as well.  I have introduced her to a lot of my favourite tools to help her address the list and I must say, she is a dab hand with the lawnmower but she is somewhat maniacal with the chain saw.

So what is on my current to-do list?

It includes wish-list items such as ‘reverse my descent into muscular dystrophy’ – if ever there was an item I would LOVE to be able to cross off, it would be that one – and things such as ‘start playing the viola again’ that are dependent upon the first one being achieved.  It also includes the need to engage various professionals to do work that would never have featured on my to-do list in previous years such as ‘find an architect to advise on adapting the house for wheelchair use’ and ‘learn to drive an adapted vehicle’ so I can re-gain some independence. 

Less compelling is the need to update our wills.  I find myself somewhat reluctant to get on with this task as there used to be a generally-accepted statistic within the charity sector that people die within three years of writing their last will and testament. This was something that I almost proved to be true within just two weeks of writing my very first will, when I found myself coming into land on an airfield in West Darfur knowing that the pilot hadn’t lowered the landing gear.  In those brief moments, as I realised we were about to crash, the only thought that went through my brain was ‘those damn statistics’. Needless to say I survived, but I think the best way to stave off the Grim Reaper is to make sure he is aware that, although I may have re-written my will, it isn’t the last one I am going to write. ‘So back off buddy, I’ve still got a long to-do list to get through before I am ready to go’.

My list does have a number of practical items crossed-off but they continue to sit there, as if to prove to myself I am still capable of doing something, albeit vicariously.  Indeed my to-do list now is not so much a list of tasks but rather a validation that I can still make some contribution to the running of the household.

Oh and now there is another thing to cross off my list – ‘update blog’ – ‘tick’.